Seeing you again felt different. After all the sh*t of the past couple weeks, you were a welcome change. I've never really talked as well to anyone, as I do with you. Of the people I like-like, ikaw lang naman talaga yung nakakapag-sabayan sakin pag nag-uusap tayo. I never feel like I have to maintain conversation because the conversation just happens.
LOML. That was how I used to call you -- the "love of my life" -- we weren't always the best of conversation buddies, but somehow, instances, coincidence, fate (?), changed us. And now more than ever, while you do not make me go weak-kneed and all-flustered anymore, I feel like you are on top of the very short list of men I might have loved (or possibly, still do) in this lifetime -- not necessarily because you love me back (do you? but that's another story), or you make me feel special, or you make me feel smart -- but just because you make me feel comfortable being myself. Around you, I don't need to be glamorous, or grammatically correct, or witty and dignified. But we can't seem to stop talking, just the same.
Ikaw na ba? Although I know you're still in love with her no matter how hard you deny it, and although I know I never really openly professed how I feel for you (I stupidly tried that on someone else -- and that might have been the smartest thing I've ever done, haha) -- I sometimes feel that in five years or so, if I should look for someone I'd spend the rest of my life with, he would be you. Or at least elicit from me some semblance of the way you make me feel. You'd be a peg, of sorts.
Thank you. I've been on the edge of giving up on love for the longest time, these past few months more than ever, but somehow you keep pulling me back from taking the leap. Alam kong hindi tayo, alam kong hindi ako ang talagang mahal mo, at alam ko rin that it would take far more time and effort on both our parts for you to ever see me that way, but the brightness you bring to my life has never been of the malicious or jealous kind. Just the kind that makes me believe in happiness.
LOML. Maybe you are.
