I know, I know. It's been ages since I last wrote -- just because I'm used to lashing out (or raving) with words every other day. I guess I just couldn't find the time to sort out my sh*t and write with all the work piling in. Funny, because writing IS my work. How can I not find time for it? Oh hell, you know what I mean.
So consider this my report for the month.
Work has been a bit more difficult than before. I've been trying to find my happy place in terms of working teams and I have yet to unearth it. The pressure's building, and I've rushed to the ladies' room for my fair share of anger management and tear duct control. Sometimes I don't even get to the ladies' room before I break. The thought of being the office crybaby (at least as far as a couple people are concerned) still makes me cringe. I hope I get beyond my emotions soon and start plugging up these tear ducts.
For some strange reason, though, despite all the drama, I've been getting more comfortable at work. I'm beginning to feel that I'm needed and to some extent, trusted here, enough to be assigned a couple more JO's than usual. Well, apart from the departure of other people in my team, of course. But that's another story. I'm actually starting to think I belong to some sort of company, now. Which is a leap from my mindset some couple months back.
Also, the book I illustrated for Adarna House and Chie Acosta is out! It's entitled "The Moon is my Friend". Our books were endorsed and launched at the National Children's Book Day celebration at the National Library some Tuesdays ago. Annie accompanied me, being the really supportive stage friend she is, and we trudged all through QC to Manila to Makati in the drizzling rain. Not exactly the bright sunshiny chirpy day I had hoped for my book launch but I'm happy nonetheless.
As for *him*, it's seriously starting to bowl over as one of those "episodes" in my life story. Now he's just a warm fuzzy thought -- the kind that makes you smile on warm late afternoons like this one. The ache of wanting to see him all the time has just fizzed away, although admittedly, the thought of being with him still makes me wish it could really happen. Even the thought of just one dance, just one dinner, just one cup of coffee is warm-fuzzy trigger enough. I'm not really bent on forever, anymore. I'm through pining for that. Apparently, it's just asking for too much. These days, I just live for the moment and take in whatever comes my way.
So there. I'm generally happy. I've been moved to tears more than I'd usually let myself, but I've been moved to smiles and laughter more than I usually would, too.
An overcharged, emotional month.
Until my next report.
