It really didn't dawn on me until now. Until she replied, that is.
Ahh okaay, gets. Ang slow ko talaga minsan.
Anoo baaa?!?! Hanggang ngayon ba, I still don't get it? That it's not always going to be about me. It was never about me. If only I'd pluck my head out of this "universe" I've created for us (population you and me), I should see that plain and simple. Na hindi ako ang iniikutan ng mundo mo, and consequently, my universe shouldn't revolve around you.
Or else I'd just be another nobody to somebody.
Which is, by the way, what I feel I am to you. A nobody. An excuse. A CC recepient on the e-mail. Hindi naman ako yung bumubuo ng araw mo. Hindi mo naman ako hinahanap-hanap. Hindi naman ako yung iniisip mo para mapangiti ka. Why should you be part of my waking thoughts, turn the outcome of my day, make me smile? If I'm in this on my own, it's not going to work.
I just need to keep repeating all this to myself until it finally hits me in the head and snaps me back to my senses. In the meantime, I'm pulling the plug on our universe.
Help me. Tigilan mo na ako. Para matigilan na rin kita.
