Hay, I see you are at it again. I'm not sure why I'm even posting in my defense. Maybe I'm justifying the sarcastic laughter that bubbled forth when I read your piece -- trying to make myself seem like the good guy even when I'm partly wrong. Maybe I want to save you from your mess, too, before other people realize you also make them feel the same way I do whenever you start: totally miserable. Maybe I'm just a heartless b*tch. It's a little bit of everything, really.
But honestly, I don't see anything wrong with that. "That's what friends are for," nga diba? But too much of something gets bad, and I just hope it doesn't cloud over your awareness of other people's lives (especially your friends'), whenever you are so full of your own problems. And I know you've got tons, you've told me one too many times -- and I'm fine with that, really. I earnestly hope I could help you out so you'd have less to deal with -- don't we all?
Nakakapagod lang minsan makinig sa problema, without ever getting the chance to unload your own. I just wish you'd be just as concerned about my day (and everybody else's) too, once in a while. Gets mo ba? I'm not asking for much, just that you hear me out too, when it's obvious that I'm needing a friend -- because I've always considered you to be one. But you hardly notice, I guess. I wish you'd give me the limelight sometimes to rant about my shitty day.
We are all naturally selfish creatures -- that doesn't mean we're evil, though -- just that we're naturally concerned with self-preservation. But I didn't think I could be this consciously selfish, until I read your "Let me be selfish!" entry. And let me tell you, two selfish people put together do not mesh well.
So when I try to stay away sometimes, it's nothing personal. I apologize if I sometimes couldn't be the friend who'll come to your rescue when you need one. Let's just say, once in a while, I have more than enough sh*t in my life and I just can't deal with yours too. I hope you understand.
But I promise, when I'm okay, I'll message you in YM. Stay strong.
