I thought I said I didn't want to be in this position anymore. Near you. But it felt so good, making you laugh aloud like I used to. Talking to you and volleying snide comments and snickering to ourselves -- I missed it. I promised myself I wouldn't try being close to you anymore, since the 'incident' which mostly broke my heart. But our world is becoming smaller and smaller by the moment, and it's getting more difficult to do that. Everybody else has found somebody else to laugh and hang out with, kaya ngayon, apat nalang tayo. I can't keep shunning you away for long. And all the more, I've got to keep steeling myself from feeling anything: regret for not telling you, frustration for not having you love me back, bittersweet pain for pretending everything's like it used to since you told me you love her. Since you told her you love her. Since she told you she didn't. It's a mess.
A part of me wishes we could stay like this forever, tayong apat. Masaya kasi. I've never had this much fun for the longest time. But a part of me wishes I could bail out already too. Not because I want to leave anybody behind. But because I want to find my somebody, too. Honestly, safe answer yun. What I really wish, is that you'd finally find me. But that would be asking for too much, would it?
Sige ibe nalang, I wish I could make you happy for as long as you need the company. Because that's exactly your effect on me. At pag dumating ang araw na aalis ka na sa Fantastic Four, sana hindi mo ako malimutan.
