It was one of the most vivid dreams I've had, ever. So vivid I actually felt you there, and when I woke up I was still tingling. And when I tried to chase whatever was left of it, as much of it as I can -- there you were, waiting. As if my sheer wanting made you stay, or pulled you back from wherever you've drifted off to be with me again.
I felt -- loved. I felt it so strongly, it brings this churn at the bottom of my stomach, just thinking about it. And now I want to feel that way again, I want to dream the same dream over and over until I've memorized it. I want to dream that same dream and never wake up until it has come true.
Suddenly, I'm thinking I don't want to let go. I don't want to pretend that I want to let go. I just want you with me. And if that dream was any indication of what it would be like being with you, maybe that's reason enough for me to keep fighting for you, as much as I can, as much as you'd let me.
Partly, naiiyak ako. If only me being in love with you were enough, we'd be together. But truth is, it's as much about you as it is about me. I so want you to love me back, like you did, or at least like I felt you did in my perfect version of us.
If there's just one ounce of you which does, please let me have him, let me take him with me. And let me bottle up whatever bit of you, whatever perfect memory of you I could have -- and keep you close to my heart. So if you can't love me back, at least let me love you the only way I know how. In my beautiful dreams.
And when that has happened, please, please -- don't wake me up.
