I can only watch and wait now. I've set the wheels turning (well, more of a slight nudge, really) to a 'grand' design which I can only hope will eventually fix things for me. And in all honesty, to fix things for you too, no matter how oblivious or passive you are to it. Too late to take it back now. It was too late the moment I knocked at his door. I guess, in my head, when I imagined it, it made so much sense that I almost feel like it would turn out exactly the same way. Far from smooth. Far from sensible. But it was a move, nonetheless.
And if for anything but only for the thought that I at least tried to do something this time instead of waiting for peace to hit me, I am comforted. For now, my heart is still, my insides are at peace, my thoughts are calm.
As for how things will turn out after I've set the ball rolling, is another story. I guess I will still have to wait for peace to hit me after all.
I can only watch and wait now.
