It was a great ride. And one chapter of it is closing. I guess I just needed to come clean with you so it wouldn't haunt me anymore and wake me up in tears. I cried just as hard last night recounting the pain and recalling the lumps in the throat and remembering the aches of my heart. I wish I had been more concise, more clear, so I didn't need to take up so much of your time or test your comprehension. Despite my teary babbling, I genuinely think you understood, no matter how difficult it was to place your calm, collected self in my frantic, dramatic shoes. But hopefully, that will be the last time.
I'm sorry. I really am. For trying to stop pedaling when I thought you were surging on without me. For having to keep on tapping your shoulder to make sure you'd remember I was right here. For not trusting you enough to know that you were not the kind to throw important things away. I guess, I was just scared. I still am, a little bit. After all that, I'm still frightened. But I'll trust you. Because I do. I'll keep on pedaling with everyone else if you will.
You see, tandems, as I've come to realize, does not necessarily mean it's only built for two. If I would only open up the view a bit, I'd see, it's not just about me and you anymore. And I will be okay because I am on the ride. Nobody's leaving behind anybody else.
I know now, we will all be okay. I think I'm finally ready for chapter two.
*page flip*
