I don't know where I am, and I don't know if I'm even supposed to be here. I've been on the losing end since day one. Worse, I think I'm causing most of the losses. And it's taking a toll on my morale like hell. I'm starting to feel like I'm not cut out for something like this. Maybe i should get into something else, for real. Grow grapes somewhere nice and quiet -- where I won't cause too much trouble, where trouble wouldn't reach me in time to break my heart.
It's one of those sad days. All over again. Haven't you heard all of this from me before? Four months later, I'm still in the same spot. Feeling stupid, feeling crappy, feeling ugly -- like shit, really.
