For the first time in Yahoo! Messaging history, you sent me a private message first. I've been keeping myself from being the first to say hello or ask how you are the past two weeks. I bet you didn't notice. So I'm not sure whether your out-of-character greeting last night was intended or not. I've seen ulterior motives exercised in even the subtlest of gestures, what makes this any different from your other gimmicks?
"Salamat nga pala sa tip mo, ha."
It was not exactly the most romantic of hello's, but it meant a lot to me probably more than a normal hello would have, coming from you. I was under the impression you were using me to get to her. And while I acknowledge that openly now (I find myself stupid for not thinking that), it appeases me to believe you're acknowledging it, too, and you're thanking me, even. At least I'm not the fool now -- I'm more of a 'partner in crime'.
I just wish you knew I like you a lot. Siguro, di mo ako lalapitan ng ganito if I told you from the very start. Kilala kita, you won't intentionally hurt someone. I just wish it wasn't me you were un-intentionally hurting. The only way out, it seems, is to tell you how I feel. And then what? Alam naman natin pareho ang sinabi niya sa'yo when you told her how you felt. Mas mahalaga, alam natin pareho kung ano ang sinabi mo sa kanya. That you love her. And whether or not she would've considered a relationship with you, bottom line is, hindi ako ang mahal mo.
Ang shitty, no? Hahaha.
